Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Seven Laws of Attraction -- Poor And Sad

Wanting to be rich and happy is trendy. Don't you want to be different from everyone else? If you're seeking a lifetime of poverty and misery, look no further. Following these 10 tips will ensure you a miserable life.

1) Whenever you feel lazy or unmotivated, take the day off and play video games, watch soap operas and eat a ton of junk food. Don't return to work until you feel motivated again.

2) When the going gets tough, just give up. Overcoming obstacles will make you grow as a person, and you don't want any of that! Instead, give up and watch TV until you feel better.

3) If you have a pain in your toenail, a tummy ache, a bruise on your arm, or your best friend's cousin's teacher's ex-boyfriend (who you've never met) passes away...don't you dare do anything but rest. You need to recuperate. Who knows what might happen if you work under those conditions.

4) Never take responsibility for anything that isn't going your way, especially if there's a chance you caused it. Remember: it's not your fault you're broke, overweight and miserable. If the whole world wasn't plotting against you, you'd be a gazillionairre right now.

5) Never take time to figure out what you want in life. Someday, that big idea will hit you and you'll know exactly what you want and how to get it without any effort. In fact, it may just show up on your doorstep one day, so it's best not to waste any time figuring it out on your own.

6) Every year on New Year's Eve, set vague goals with no deadline and no action plan to make them happen. Here's a great one you can use: "start a business that makes lots of money". Then proceed to forget all about it 2 weeks later.

7) Don't earn $30 when you can save $0.30! Instead of working an extra hour to make more money, spend that hour haggling with the grocery store cashier to accept your 30 cent off coupon.

8) Convince yourself that all rich, happy people just lucked into their success. One of these days while you're sitting on the couch watching Oprah, your ship will come in too. If it doesn't, it's because the world is out to get you.

9) Insist on being 100% perfect all the time. Don't make any mistakes, ever. Spend at least an hour writing a brilliant response to this article so when people read your comment, they'll think you're a genius.

10) Get extremely angry about everything this article says. Refuse to believe you can possibly relate to anything I just said, and continue on with your life without changing your behavior in any way. That attitude has served you great in the past, keep up the good work and you'll surely be guaranteed a lifetime of poverty and misery.

Wait a minute ! You may be thinking..."what if I actually DO want to be rich and happy?" Well if that's the case, then I suggest you go to

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